claudine_c

I'm known by many people as someone who spends a lot of time with computers and gadgets, even a bit of a geek. But I continue to write by hand, at least in the early draft stage. This surprises some people. My handwriting isn't very legible, and I can touch type reasonably quickly. Wouldn't it be more efficient to type as I think rather than scrawl on paper, then strain my eyes as I transcribe those scrawls onto the keyboard?

Speed and efficiency are precisely what I don't need when I write. When I was a child my mother would take me to the newspaper office where she worked, and I would watch in wonder as she tapped out a feature article from her notes, reviewed it for typos, and submitted it a few minutes later. I could not write that way and, as I am not a journalist, I don't need to write that way. My notebooks and draft printouts are scarred with entire lines or paragraphs struck out, additions and comments running through the margins in all directions, and boxes and arrows doing the work of 'cut and paste'.



I couldn't write journalism, reportage or any other style that requires fast responses. I am a naturally slow thinker. Questions, problems and ideas simmer in my mind over weeks or months before I feel ready to share them with others. I can just about keep pace with university subjects that run over thirteen weeks. I panic in situations that require quick decisions.

Writing by hand suits this way of thinking. My canned response to the people who expect me to type everything is, 'I type faster than I think'. I still labour over the formation of legible words in ink. When I type, my fingers race over the keyboard, and if my mind has not found any words to type, the whole process seems to break down. However, my writing hand keeps good pace with my mind.



Transcribing handwritten drafts does require more labour. This is one reason why only a small proportion of what I write reaches other people. The process of writing is a valuable discipline. It is a form of exercise and, for me at least, writing by hand gives delight to mind that it does not get from typing. So I do write a lot by hand—but much of that writing is only useful as a warmup. Does what I have written justify the effort of electronic transcription? Usually, I decide that it doesn't. I'm sure I often make poor judgments in what I do or do not publish. But writing slowly, then typing, provides some protection against regrettable errors.

I've started a new blog, for a number of reasons. I'm a bit wary of the new sale of LiveJournal; I wanted to try out WordPress; and I thought it would help to have a more thematic focus for my writing. I used to write more often, and more substantially, in this journal, but lately it has become dominated by 'what I did today' and 'what I'm doing next week' entries. There's nothing wrong with that, but I need to find some more direction for my writing/blogging.

Or maybe I just want to play with a shiny new toy. There's nothing wrong with that, either.

I think that, initially at least, I might steer my more explicit God-talk into 'lighten our darkness' rather than this journal. That way, my LJ readers can filter out the God-talk if they don't like it. I am aware that I've been on LJ for a few years and have developed a healthy set of contacts here. I'm not going to abandon LJ as it's a good way of keeping up with friends and contacts who are already here, and I'll probably still use LJ for 'what I did today' and other miscellaneous posts. My ramblings on religion and vocation will go to the other blog, which may come to some of you as a relief.

Blogged with Flock

My supervisor has suggested clarifications and stylistic changes, but no change to the substance of the report. I should be done by Friday or even earlier.

This really is getting close to completion. It doesn't feel real. I guess I really don't trust myself.

I meet my supervisor tomorrow. My deadline for submission is Friday. It could all end in tears; or I might just be very pessimistic.

My writing and blogging decreased dramatically after I returned from India last January. The practical reason for this is that I just became insanely busy: I had two part-time jobs (which add up to more mental effort than one full-time job) and I was entering the serious research phase of my master's course. Oh, and my ongoing identity crisis was intensifying.

I think that is the deeper reason for not writing in public -- I was less sure about who I was, what I had to offer the world, and how I was going to live and work in the long term (or even in the next few years). My ideas about myself could change many times. I still wrote in my private handwritten journal and reading older entries has proved just how much my understanding of myself keeps changing.

The whole linux.conf.au experience has shown me that there is a disconnection between the Claudine that geeks and online acquaintances see and the Claudine that offline friends see. If I believe that connecting my online and offline identities can contribute to personal integrity or wholeness, I should try to write more (here, and in other online contexts) about what really matters to me, and I could also try to talk about Linux and FOSS with those friends who have a more limited awareness of computer issues.

I don't generally make new year's resolutions but maybe I could try to communicate better, and not just this year.